Movie Trailers Suck. Seriously.

Alright, alright. I realize that we live in a time where movie technology is getting out of control neat- the story in Avatar wasn't that great, at all, (don't throw rocks at me plz) but the effects and the technology used to create them were absolutely spectacular.

Also, emotionally driven movies continue to delve into the previously taboo- Precious, Black Swan, etc. So it's only natural that the people in charge of putting together the trailer would want to showcase what the movie has to offer.

I am a huge movie lover. I love observing a single piece of art that is the product of so many different types of art- the writing, the acting, the cinematogrophy, etc.

However, there is something going on lately that has really, really been grinding my gears. (Oh hai Peter Griffin.)

There is something out there bastardizing the movie experience, friends, I am convinced. That thing is.....movie trailers.

DON'T GET ME WRONG. Previews are necessary to attract the targetted audiences. However, I have been burned, burned, and burned again recently and the movie trailer was 100% to blame for each case. Movie trailers have begun to go too far as far as revealing certain facts and scenes about the particular movie. I'm talking major spoilers in the trailers.

*******THE REST OF THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIES DRAG ME TO HELL, SHUTTER ISLAND, BLACK SWAN (KIND OF, I HAVEN'T SEEN IT BUT I'VE SEEN THE TRAILER. YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN IN A SECOND.) AND WHATEVER THE HECK THAT MOVIE IS THAT STARS JOSH DUHAMMEL AND KATHERINE HEIGL WHERE THEY INHERIT A BABY. *******

So, when you go a movie, you're not going to instantly forget the trailer that brought you there. When I went to see Drag Me To Hell, I was ridiculously stoked. (I just gotta throw this out there before I go into all of this, I loved the movie, a lot. Classic Sam Raimi- hilarious at times and creepy at times and overly gross at times.) As the movie went on, a certain scene that had been the highlight scene of many of the trailers kept tapping me on the shoulder- When are they going to show the scene where Alison Lohman is being pulled into a fiery pit by all the different arms/hands? Surely, it wouldn't happen at the end, I thought. They wouldn't just show the end of the movie in the trailer. Wrong, my friends.

After the Drag Me To Hell incident, I hoped for a better movie viewing future. I figured it was a slip up, that the particular person who put the trailer together had been off their rocker, and that it would hopefully never happen again.

Then Shutter Island came out.

There were so many blatant "Is Leo the crazy one!?" teasery type remarks and scenes in the first trailers for the movie that I figured it was officially allowing itself to be dubbed a "Who is the real crazy one?" movie. And that's totally fine. I expected it to blow us away with something completely unpredictable, because such a big name and such a beautiful looking film had more at stake than "A or B?"

But then when the movie actually came out, they started changing the trailer to those "DON'T TELL ANYBODY HOW IT ENDS" movies, except for that they'd follow every like remark with a shot of Leo in the hospital, looking full on bat shit crazy. The trailer prepped me to be very, VERY suspicious of this outcome, and in the first scene when Leo makes a comment about being around the water, I knew for certain that something was up. So then I just kept waiting for something to happen that would just completely prove the theory wrong, or at least trick me into thinking otherwise. The movie was awesome, but that moment never came and I knew from the beginning that Leo was delusional.

I was originally inspired to write this blog post because there is a movie out that I am absolutely DYING to see- Black Swan. The original trailers for it were teasery enough to give me an idea of what I could expect without showing me what to expect, like the latest trailers for it are.

The 'is she crazy' and 'who is Lily really?' tones that the trailers produce, combined with the much repeated and particularly haunting scene of Natalie Portman slamming another girl (presumably Mila Kunis) into a mirror in a fight that appears to be to-the-death, leads me to believe that Natalie Portman is going to kill someone, either herself or Mila Kunis, if Mila Kunis even exists at all. I hope I am wrong, (if you've seen it please don't comment on if I am or not) and if I am I will be eating my words after I see it.

I know I'll still love it either way, (I have heard it's amazing from multiple trusted sources,) but I looove being surprised with how movies turn out, you know? And I don't even need to see the movie with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhammel where they inherit the baby because the trailer shows the entire thing in four swift scenes: unlikely couple that is not a couple yet inherits baby, unlikely couple gives it a go, hilarity and emotional chaos ensues, Josh Duhammel confesses his love for Katherine Heigl and baby. I wonder how it ends...*cough*

That still wouldn't change the Drag Me To Hell and Shutter Island incidents, though, and even the Paranormal Activity 2 trailer got super spoilery at parts.

If you are wondering why I am bitching about it because trailers are trailers and what else would they show in them, I will show an example of how I wish trailers really were.

This is a trailer for an old film that I love called Don't Bother To Knock, starring Marilyn Monroe.

So super cheesy adverstising lines about Marilyn aside (every inch a woman? hahahah), the trailer is great because it isn't so short as to not get us interested, and it shows lots of important scenes that build up toward the big reveal at the end. As someone who has seen this movie, though, I can attest that the trailer doesn't even come close to scratching the surface as far as what the movie is actually about and in what direction it goes. It lets you know what you need to know- guy gets involved with sketchy female, shit goes down. But it does it in such a less obvious way that if you watched the film after viewing the trailer, you'd def. be surprised, not to mention introduced to other story lines that they don't even address in the trailer.

I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking the whole thing. All I know is, I'm afraid to look at the freaking TV screen any time a trailer for *insert upcoming anticipated film here* comes on.

Today's movies have so much to offer us. And I don't doubt that putting together a good trailer is very, very difficult work. But the trailers don't need to rope us in with actual footage of the end scenes, revealing scenes, etc. We, as the audience, will respond just as well if not better.

There's only so much buttery popcorn and Sour Punch Straws and Cherry Coke will bring us in the theatre. We need to enjoy the movie watching experience, and everyone who worked their asses off to make the movie in the first place deserves an audience with fresh eyes and a fresh mind.