FINALLY!!!!

Hello everybody!! Beware of the epically long blog post below.

I apologize for the delay in posting this, but they really arn't kidding when they say that having a baby is freaking hardcore as hell. In every aspect! However, I'm pretty proud to say that I returned to freelancing last week and even did some revisions last night, and plan to do more tonight. I also just cleaned the condo, took a shower, served up some veggie soup, AND am now sitting to write this here blog post. So basically, I'm getting the hang of this thing. Huzzah! I feel like a magician. A furious magician. (If you got that reference, you are entirely made of awesome.)

Let's turn back the clock to Tuesday, December 22rd. (BTW, it absolutely blows my mind that this was two weeks ago. It really feels like it's only been a few days.) I went in to my normal check up, but instead of seeing the nurse practitioner like usual, I saw the actual doctor. He looked over my chart and told me that he didn't like how unsure everyone was as to if I really had gestational diabetes or not. He told me that he wasn't comfortable with letting me go past my due date and scheduled me to be induced on December 30th.

Eddie and I were wiggin' out, man. Only eight days away! We couldn't believe it, so we proceeded to freak out over the intrawebz and loaded our Facebook updates with 'Lily is coming December 30th!'

Ha.

The next morning, December 23rd, we went in the office at 8:45 am to get the ultrasound. It was just to make sure she wasn't a mammoth baby that would require a c-section for her escape. Turns out my amniotic fluid was low. They hooked me up to a stress test, which was basically me sitting in a Lazy Boy hooked up to this moniter while Eddie and I talked about the art of trash talking over Halo on Xbox Live for thirty minutes or so. They unhooked me, and I thought we were ready to go. Now, I used to work at the OB GYN office that we were at, so I'm friends with all the medical assistants. The one that was working whispered to me that the doc wanted to induce me today. WHA WHA WHAAAAAAT?!?!?! We sat oh-so-patiently in the waiting area while we waited for the doctor to talk to us. Now, we looked pretty calm, but we were both pretty much feeling like cheetahs on crack.

The doctor called us in, and it was official: He wanted to induce me. Now. All I could think about was the fact that I hadn't showered that day, and had always planned to meet my new baby with a pretty face of makeup and done up hair. (Afterthought: LMAO.) He said we could go home to shower but needed to go to the hospital afterward.

I'm surprised we didn't crash on the way home. We pretty much took turns squealing like school girls and saying over and over and over, 'I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe it. What the hell. WHAT THE HELL!?' We dialed numerous phone numbers with shaky fingers to announce it, came home, took showers, got the hospital bag, and of COURSE updated our Facebooks. Ha!! We got to the hospital, they hooked me up to an IV, and the first dose of induction medicine was, er...shoved into me. Then it was time to wait.

The excitement faded pretty quickly when it became apparent that I was making very little progress. We hung around in the room all day with family and stuff, joking and smiling and taking pictures. Hey, labor isn't so bad after all, I thought to myself. (Sigh. Naivety at its finest.) The doctor announced that they weren't going to induce any further until the next day to avoid a 4 am delivery.

The induction continued at 4 am the next morning. By 6 am, I was starting to feel slightly annoyed by the contractions. Nothing too intense. I thought again, this isn't so bad. My family returned to hang out in the late morning, and by probably about noon or 1, the contractions were officially bothering me. My mother held my hand and stroked my back while Eddie slept in a twisted fetal position on a horribly uncomfortable chair. Poor guy.

Now, if you all remember, I was TERRIFIED of the idea of an epidural. Not in a feminist, I-don't-want-drugs-to-hurt-my-baby sort of way. It was more in a how-the-fuck-could-I-stand-an-IV-in-my-freaking-BACK sort of way. Let me tell you, by the time 5 pm rolled around, the pain took over the fear. Just like everyone promised it would. That's not to say I wasn's absolutely petrified as they were doing it. Eddie had to sit in front of me and talk me down the entire time it was happening. But after it happened, I suddenly couldn't feel the contractions. Or my legs, for that matter. I was able to sleep for about an hour and a half.

I noticed that I could feel the contractions again suddenly on my left side, enough to be bothering me again. The nurse suggested that I turn on my left side to make the medicine pool over and cover the pain. The second they turned me over, it was like magic. BLACK MAGIC. I could suddenly feel the contractions full on, yet my legs were still numb and dead to the world. I started crying out, and within twenty seconds they moved me on my back again and told me it was time to push. I was so pissed that the epidural only seemed to be working on my legs.

Lots of pushing, a few screams, and one massive cut later, (my mother swears my face was purple,) Lily came into the world in one swift push. It's true what they say. I didn't care she was covered in goo. (She actually was less gooey than I pictured.) I didn't care about the pain. Everything was okay. Everything was wonderful. She didn't even cry, at all. She just stared up at me with her ginormous eyes. She's perfect. It didn't even bother me that she was born on Christmas Eve.

Recovery is a bitch. They say that you don't want to leave the hospital because everyone takes care of you, but I wanted to go home so bad I couldn't stand it. Staying for two more days was torture.

We're home now and finally have a schedule set up so that we don't go insane from lack of sleep. Eddie takes the 12am-6am shift while I sleep, and I take the 6 am-12pm shift while he sleeps. It's working well, especially since Eddie works at night anyways and usually stayed up until 3am pre-baby anyway. And I just need to take this opportunity to say that Eddie has been the most amazing, AMAZING daddy/husband-of-hormonal-wife. He should win an award, or at least a platter of his favorite cookies.

Life. Is. So. Good.

Fresh outta the freakin' womb.

More recent. Sweet little Lily bug.

Holy Freaking Guacamole

Oh man, dude. I am just about at 38 weeks along now.... how wild is that? I can NOT believe that there are only two more weeks (and hey, maybe less) before I get to actually look at and hold my sweet little Lily bug. I'm getting my fat pictu- er, I mean maternity pictures done tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah. When I first started trying to get pregnant, so many women that heard would be like, 'Oh really? You'll LOVE it. I LOVED BEING PREGNANT! I would be pregnant all the time if I could, it's just so cool." Well, uh... I'm not really sure what kind of experience those women had, but I'm good and ready to be un-preggo again. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a particularly hard pregnancy. Sure I was sick all day every day for the first four months, but it's not like I had a job to go to or anything, I was lucky enough to be at home and even land a legit stay at home job. And yeah, this blood sugar thing sucks a little, but since my numbers have been fantastic and I've discovered sugar free Cherry Coke, it really hasn't been too much of an issue. (Although I am still planning on devouring a box of Jujubes and numerous Sour Punch straws after I give birth.)

Being pregnant has been cool for sure. Feeling her kick and watching Eddie's face the first time he felt her kick and all that mushy stuff got to me how all the cheesy 'mommy moments' promised they would. I'm just so freaking excited for her to be OUTSIDE of my body. I'm excited to drink wine, (or even better, the occasional Long Island Iced Tea), sleep on my stomach, get my next tattoo, and tickle the Lily's belly. My friend recently asked, "Arn't you gonna miss it? Even just a little?" I really have to be honest and say no. This certainly isn't the last time I'll get to experience pregnancy, so for now, I'm totally good man. Let these ridiculous shenanigans end.

BRING IT ON LABOR! BRING. IT. ON!!!!!

Okay, okay. Enough fantasizing about not being a huge whale anymore. The writing side of things have gotten really, REALLY exciting lately. The latest round of revisions of TOB have gone surpremely well so far, so well in fact that I think I can actually see the Submissions Light at the end of the tunnel. And even better, Joanna was really into what I have to far of Take. I was so afraid to send it to her because, well...you know. I'm paranoid as fuck. Luckily though, Joanna said that from the little I've sent her so far she feels like I've improved and am displaying stronger skills and all that. YESSSS! Huzzah! Woo hoo! Music to my ears! Let's get this party started, yo.

So...that's about it as of now. This week, next week, and the week after are completely penciled in with articles to make Christmas and 'When Lily Gets Here and Eddie Takes A Week Off' money and Take and the last of the TOB revisions. I have a feeling it will make the next two weeks fly by and I'll be the crazy baby lady before I even know it.

The revisions are almost done. The hospital bag is packed. The up and coming new year is going to be the most exciting, happy year of my life. And I'm so ready.

Happy Happy AGENT DAY!!

Yes, yes, yes. It's true. Superstar author Kody Keplinger decided to put her ridiculously amazing networking skills of magick to work once again and organize a massive- and I do mean massive, people- official Agent Appreciation Day.

The idea is to share with the world exactly why we love our agents oh so very much. Now, I was on board the minute I received the, er, bulletin of sorts proposing this special blogosphere event. For one thing, I have the best agent ever. Sorry to gloat, but it's true.



Joanna Stampfel-Volpe, for those of you who havn't read my endless entries of ass-kissing to her in the past, is a force to be reckoned with. She has been mentioned on countless publishing blogs, published author blogs, non published author blogs, and aspiring author blogs. Her sales record for the amount of time she's been out of the old internship and into agentdom is incredibly impressive. Everyone knows it, and other Super Agents like Colleen Lindsay and Janet Reid have made it clear that Joanna is freaking amazing. Just sayin'.

How I managed to snag her, I still sometimes wonder. But I thank my lucky stars every single day that I did. SO, without further ado (a'do? a due? fondue?) here is my list of why Joanna Stampfel-Volpe is quite literally one of my favorite people ever.

1) She loves The Beatles. Before I was represented officially, Joanna dropped me an email to tell me that she'd heard Eleanor Rigby on the radio and that it had made her think of The Tortures of Blight- and Violet, the MC, in particular. You can barely imagine how that made me feel inside. Since then, I've also learned that one of the only songs she remembers that played at her wedding was All You Need Is Love- the closing song. She was ecstatic to receive Beatles Rock Band. So in short, it just so happens that my agent and I share a fiery passion for the best band ever.

2) She sent me a giant Zombieland poster for my birthday. Need I say more?

3) She goes the extra, extra mile. It's no secret that Jo has a true love for stories, but it has become more apparent to me every time we go through another round of revisions. Especially the most recent round, which has been by FAR my favorite and the one that's produced the highest amount of 'holy shit this is really happening to me' adrenaline. I can't believe how much time, thought, and energy Joanna has put forth for ToB. It takes my breath away. She has taught me so much about my own writing, and I can honestly say that what I've learned is carrying over to my new stuff. Woo to that!

4) She apparently knows where Dylan's Candy Bar is. AND PLANS TO TAKE ME THERE ONE DAY! You know what they say. The way into an Amy's heart is through candies. Lots and lots of candies.

5) Because of her, I have a career. It seems obvious, I know. But, dude...me...CAREER! Who would have thought? Not I, that's fo shizzle.

6) She recommends really, REALLY good books. Again, not a surprising quality found in an agent. But still, I appreciate it.

There you have it, my lovelies. I've proclaimed my undying respect and love for Jo on my blog so many times before, but I'm really glad that Kody put together this official Agent Appreciation Day. The agents deserve it for all of their hard work. Joanna deserves it. Just ask anyone who's ever worked with her, and even a lot of people that havn't. She's just that awesome.

Gobble-Gobble

Hello all of yous!

As we all know, tomorrow is the epic day of Thanksgiving. I can't believe that December is almost here. I can't believe that Lily will be here so soon. But mostly, I can't believe that my pregnant-Thanksgiving Day fantasy is going to come true.

Way before I even started trying to get pregnant, I always told my friends that I sincerely hoped I'd be 'super fat pregnant' during Thanksgiving so that I could balance numerous pies and maybe a roll on my gigantic belly. Tomorrow, people, the vision will come to life. Get ready for a feasting. I'm making a sweet potato pie tonight to bring tomorrow, special thanks to the amazing Loretta for the recipe!

So, I'm gonna go ahead and jump on the Thanksgiving-Blog bandwagon and post a list of things I'm thankful for.

1) My husband Eddie. He's super hot. Oh, and he's also really nice in the fact that he supported us for a looooong time by himself before I got the freelancing job or an agent. He's worked so hard and I couldn't be more thankful for it. He never questioned me, doubted me, or dimmed my spirits. In fact, he was quite encouraging. It's been three years and I'm still wondering when what others have dubbed our 'newlywed stage' will end. I love you, Sir Edmund.

2) New family members are quite amazing. It bends my mind to think that this time next year there will be a sweet little Lily bug to enjoy the holidays with us, and that Eddie and I will have officially started our family. Eeee! Also, my brother got engaged recently, and it just so happens that my new sister-in-law is now one of my very best friends. She and I are alike in so many ways and I can't believe that she's here to stay. Hells to the yeah.

3) Frodo and Luna. Don't call me a crazy cat lady or I'll sick my feline minions on you.

4) The ferocious four, aka the amazing group that consists of me, Eddie, Jason, and Calikas. All we do is sit around, eat, laugh, and play lots and lots of Left 4 Dead and Halo 3. These are the best times ever. What I'm most thankful for in this group is that Jason and Kas are (almost) as excited about Lily being here as me and Eddie are. They can't wait for her to be here, and I know that these are two best friends that I won't lose after my life changes and I have a baby with me at all times. They rock the socks.

5) My freakin' sweet ass agent, Joanna Stampfel-Volpe. Whenever I realize that she's really my agent and actually likes working with me, I get all shivery and full of disbelief on the inside. Yeah, she's that good. I am the luckiest girl on earth, for many reasons. Jo is one of those reasons. PS, I got the next round of revisions for The Tortures of Blight underway, and once again, I'm amazed at how much the manuscript is gonna improve.

6) All the super amazing online writing friends that I've made in this journey. Kody, K Botts 5000, Emilia, Stephanie, Krista, Loretta, Lisa and Laura, I love you all!

7) The fact that I got all my Christmas decorations today so that I don't have to go out on Black Friday. I think I may have a heart attack if I attempt to be amongst all the raging, foaming-at-the-mouth shoppers. Instead, Black Friday will be dedicated to cooking my first turkey, baking an apple pie, curling up in winter pajamas with a book and decorating the Christmas tree. Oh, I'm also going to be making fried sausage stuffing balls. You know you wants some.

Okay okay let's not go overboard here. I've got that sweet potato pie to make, closets to organize, and articles to write. Thanks for reading. You guys are all amazing.

Squeee! And also, Anti-Squee.

My 'squee!' for the day is because the lovely Miss Emilia Joyce Plater just posted her interview she did with me a while back...my first interview in the blogosphere! I'm very excited, go and have a look see if you arn't too busy :)

http://emiliajoyce.blogspot.com/2009/11/is-introducing-amy-lukavics.html

My 'anti squee' for the day is a fact that is so sad, every time I think about it I sigh and try not to go screaming down my street like a mad woman. And that fact, my friends, is blood sugar. I failed the one hour glucose, I threw up during the three hour glucose, and my most recent blood test came back 'way high.'

I now get to go pick up a lovely little device that sucks up my blood (after I prick my finger with something called a Lance something or other) and gives me a little number to record and show my doctor. Yes, this part indeed sucks, but guess what else.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT CANDY! I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK SODA! I'M NOT ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE IN 'CARAMEL APPLE SUNDAY' WITH CALIKAS ANYMORE!

I know what you're all thinking..."Who cares? It's healthier not to have that stuff anyway!" Well...uh....boo to you. You're right, I know. But...but...candy! MY CANDIES! Suddenly six weeks seems like a waaaaay longer time than it did a few days ago. Sigh....

Anyway, Take is slowly but surely making headway, I'm currently in Chapter 3 and *think* I like what I have so far. Mostly I just wanna get to the 'good stuff' that I know is coming in the story. And, in case you havn't realized by now, I'm not the most patient of little Amys.

Anyway, that is all. I will post a picture in rememberence of my fallen friends.

Oh, my sweet Jujubes....I will see you again someday....

Want to win a Kindle?!

I know I sure as hell do. Some of the lovely ladies whose blog I follow quite religiously, Lisa and Laura, have just sold their book The Haunting of Pemberly Brown (Sourcebooks Spring 2011) and are obviously pretty freaking excited.

They are just that awesome in the fact that they are having a Kindle GIVEAWAY! If you want to enter the contest, mosey on over to this link: http://lisa-laura.blogspot.com/2009/11/spread-love-win-kindle.html

Congratulations, Lisa and Laura! You girls rock the socks, yo!

The Topic That Everyone Is Blogging About

That's right, people. I'm talking about NaNoWriMo. Yeah, we're that cool that we can't type out the full name. NaNo for the super chic.

Who else is shaking in their boots that November 1st is only three days away? I know I am. I am about to turn into one of those cave dwelling spiders that the one (insanely crazy) lady ate on Fear Factor. I couldn't be more excited!

My life is about to revolve around this here computer. I will eat, breathe, and sleep writing. When I'm not working on Take, (I can't believe I have a title before it's done btw...so unlike my usual train of thought) I will be whipping out freelance articles, supporting/being supported by the amazing dwellers of AW, more ToB revisions, and eating. This sort of sucks for anyone besides my kitties that want to hang out with me, because my free time will be super slim pickin's and most likely be filled with mindless entertainment, ie Dragonage and Left 4 Dead 2. Oh, and baking cobblers and cooking mass amounts of soup, stew, and homemade bread. The weather is getting colder, and I loves it.

One topic of wonder to me is the fact that so many people are getting really into NaNo. I mean, the idea of writing a novel (or most of one) in a month is exciting. But should it change our actual level of passion that we had anyway for hammering away at a WIP? No. I feel kind of bad for agents, as I'm sure that they will be getting about fifty million times as many query letters as usual, although there's sure to be bright and shiny gems amongst the heap. I just think it's important to be consistent with certain stuff. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess it's that I hope people take this month as an opportunity to measure oneself's own ability, rather than making a big competition out of things. I hope people's sparkle for writing as much as they can in their everyday lives doesn't fizzle out come December 1st. Because, really, the insanity never ends.

Another thing I'm wondering about is this whole 'just get the quantity now, fix the quality later' business. Now, I'm not saying that I'm gonna fail the 50K+ goal or anything, but I'm not the kind to forcefully whip out a bunch of semi-crappy, super unedited words just to fill space. I am one of those OCD people who will read each section and edit as I go. I do this because I know there will be lots of work later anyway and trudging through a mass draft of utter crap would be quite overwhelming for someone as, er, sensitive as myself. That's a nice way of saying that I'd probably pull a Britney Spears and shave my head if I tried to do it the other way. And trust me, I look HORRIBLE with short hair.

How are you other participants planning on distributing your writing time? Vampiric tendencies? No sleep? I'd like to know. Maybe one of you has a great trick that I can steal. Because me, my plan as of now is to pretty much wing it. I'm quite new to such official writerly things.